


I Miss You, When The Lights Go Down

by rrj03



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Breakup, Crying, Fluff, HS1, Happy Ending, Harry Styles Live On Tour, Harrys London Show, M/M, Miss You by Adele, No Smut, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, They get back together, might make you cry, or Both, or laugh, sorry lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:58:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrj03/pseuds/rrj03
Summary: The lights went down as butterflies went up in Louis' stomach. He didn't think he was emotionally ready for this yet. Maybe he could do this in ten years when he's moved on with another man.Louis was fine for the first song.But then he heard Harry's voice for the first time in months. It was just a simple, "Hello London, I'm Harry Styles" but it made Louis bite his lip to keep he sobs inside.He was such a baby, but he's missed Harry more than words can explain and Harry's voice was one of Louis' favorite things.OR the one where Louis and Harry are broken up and Louis goes to see Harry on tour.





	I Miss You, When The Lights Go Down

Louis was fine. Really, he was fine. 

It's been two months and three weeks since him and Harry had broken up. 

It's been two months and three weeks of absolute misery on Louis' end. He felt tied down to his bed and even doing the simplest thing was hard for him. 

When they broke up, Louis didn't see it coming. When they first started dating they had so much in common. Both their parents were divorced, both had sisters, both were struggling with their sexuality, both liked the same music, both liked playing pranks on other people, and every other thing. 

However, they've grown from that and it feels like they have nothing in common anymore. They listen to different music, like different foods, Louis smokes and Harry despises smoking, Louis drinks alcohol and Harry drinks kale smoothies, and Louis is now the only one of the pair that enjoys pulling pranks on anyone around them. 

Whenever Louis felt like being a little menace, Harry used scrunch his nose and try, but fail, to hold back his smile. 

Now whenever Louis wanted to pull some crazy antic, Harry would roll his eyes and tell him to grow up. 

The little things they used to love about each other turned into things they hated about each other.

Before Harry started his tour, Louis suggested that they had a little break. Hopefully in those two weeks of not calling, texting or seeing each other they'd realize how much they need each other. Louis was hoping that it would show Harry how much being apart would suck, because if they didn't change their ways that would be the direction in which they were headed. 

However the plan came right back and slapped Louis in the face because, apparently, Harry decided he liked his freedom and he didn't like feeling tied down by a relationship. He was 24 and embarking on a world tour alone, he needed some time to just be a kid and not be held back by a relationship. 

Harry came home for a day and told Louis they needed to end it. The older lad didn't know what to think and he just let Harry slip through his fingers like melting ice on a hot day. 

He regrets not fighting for him, not putting an effort to change things and he regrets just letting Harry walk out of that door while neither said a word. 

When Harry left Louis cried for a good week. He wanted Harry to come back, he wanted Harry to text or call him, and he wanted Harry to say something only the two of them understood while he was singing on stage. Every time he got a post notification for Harry he somehow hoped there was some weird secret message attached that only he would be able to understand. 

Whenever Louis' phone would ring or he'd get a text notification, he'd immediately check it hoping it was from Harry. 

Now he ignores every sound his phone makes. He's learned Harry isn't going to text him ever again, hell he probably deleted his number from his phone. 

He became numb to everything. He "cried all his tears out",as Niall would say, and now he couldn't cry so he'd just stare at the wall. Food had no flavor-it all just tasted like rubber. Music had not effect on him, and no matter how many times his friends would try to make him laugh it wouldn't work. 

He used to enjoy writing his feelings down on paper or putting them into a song. But He found no joy or relief in that anymore. 

But Louis was fine.  
\- - -  
Niall was yelling at Louis as soon as he fed the system his credit card information. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Niall yelled, snatching the laptop from Louis. 

The Irish lad took a look at the screen and saw Louis had purchased a spot in the club section for Harry's London show. 

Louis, sensing Niall was about to cancel the tickets, quietly said, "they're non refundable." 

Niall slammed the laptop shut and angrily set it on the coffee table, not giving a damn if he broke it or not. 

"Why, Louis?" 

The older lad looked down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs, "all his family and all his friends are going to be there." 

Niall squeezed his hand into a first. "Why would do that to yourself? Why the fuck would you bring that kind of emotional pain onto yourself?"

Louis wanted to yell and the Irish lad, tell him to stop making judgments on his life and to get the fuck out of his house.

But if he couldn't find the energy to cry, he certainly wouldn't be able to find the energy to scream.

"Stop pretending like the floor is the most entertaining thing in the world!" Niall snapped, "give me your reasoning."

The blue eyed boy let out a sigh, his fingers finding a part of the carpet to pull on, "I....still feel like" Louis swallowed. "I dunno, I'm a part of his family and I should be there. I know I shouldn't, but no one will even know I'm there....hence the reason why I got the club seats." 

Nails face softened a bit as he took a seat next to Louis. "Lou, Harry's not going to forget you and neither is his family. They all still love you."

"H-He looks so happy though. He's probably forgotten about me." 

Niall looked at him like he had lost his mind and all his sanity. "You don't know that."

Louis started to feel that sensation of crying and yelling. Maybe this was a good thing, maybe this was a sign of healing. 

"I do!" The blue eyed boy yelled. "He looks so happy! He's always smiling and he's having a blast! He's laughing and dancing around! He's not bed ridden like me! I'm glad to fucking see he doesn't give a shit about me." 

"That's how he presents himself on stage, he probably isn't like that backstage." 

"Yes he is" louis said, swallowing the sobs that threatened to leap out from his throat. And of course, the tears he's been waiting two months for are coming while there's someone else there. 

But he wasn't going to cry in front of Niall because he's fine.  
\- - -  
The concert was tomorrow and Louis was regretting every single part of it. 

He's slowly getting better, and seeing Harry is just going to push him back to where he was in the beginning, back to the start line.

When Louis opened the door to Niall, he was surprised to see he skipped the sympathetic smile and the hug. 

Instead, he moved right passed Louis, plopped on the couch and announced he had "a plan"

"What kind of plan?" Louis asked, taking his own seat on a Loveseat .

"We're calling Harry." 

Louis' mouth suddenly felt as dry as the dessert, and he could barley choke out the words, "n-no we're not." 

"Let me explain" Niall effused through a smirk that said 'I'm a genius'. "I'm going to call him, ask how it's going and get the scoop on what he's doing. I won't mention anything about you or the breakup, it'll just be two bros catching up with each other." 

Louis knitted his eyebrows together, pulling a face of clear confusion, "What point is that going to serve?"

"We'll hear about how he's doing." 

"Oh" Louis laughed a bit more bitterly than intended. "Yay, I get to hear about how he's so happy and how he probably has a boyfriend and how he doesn't give a fuck about me. Fun!"

"Cut the sarcasm out." The Irish lad said seriously. "I'm calling him."

Louis bolted out of his chair and lunged at Niall, playing a game of wrestling for the phone. 

"No Niall give me it!" Louis was practically crushing Niall at this point. 

"Hello?" 

"Harry, hi." 

This blue eyed boy became more aggressive, attempting to get the phone and chuck it out the window. 

Niall huffed, pushing Louis off him, "stop" 

Louis gritted his teeth together before getting off Niall. He wanted to yell and scream at the Irish lad who was sitting there with a devilish smirk. But he couldn't blow his cover and have harry hear him. 

"Who are you talking to?" 

"Oh...uh..." Niall looked at Louis who was shaking his head as if to say don't you dare blow my cover. 

"My girlfriend." 

Louis smacked his forehead, Niall was so fucking stupid. 

"I panicked!" Niall mouthed at Louis. 

"Oh, girlfriend, eh?" Harry asked. 

"A y-yeah"

"Cool." Harry replied. "What's her name" 

"Um.....Louise." 

Louis smacked his head harder this time, taking his hand off his forehead and pointing it at Niall trying to convey that he was so fucking stupid. 

"Nice" was Harry's reply. 

Niall found this unusual for Harry. Normally the younger lad would be digging all through his relationship trying to find out every single detail about his girlfriend. But all he seemed to care about was her name, and that's just him being polite. 

"Ah...how are you." 

"I'm fantastic." Harry said, sarcasm clear in his voice. 

"Oh...uh....wanna talk about it?" 

"Not really, no." 

"It's not good to keep all your feelings-"

"I know, Niall." Harry snarled on the other line. 

Both Niall and Louis frowned, it was so unlike Harry to get mad so quickly. 

"How's the tour going?"

"Is there a point of you calling me? I have shit to do that doesn't include listening to your cliche questions that I'm asked all the time."

"Geez mate, I just wanted to Catch up with you. No need to spasm out on me." 

"I'm sorry, now is not a very good time. I um...I've gotta go." 

Before Niall could say anything the line went dead, and his face matched louis' face of utter shock. 

"That's so unlike him." Louis muttered. 

"So unlike him" Niall agreed. 

But Harry was probably stressed about the tour and everything that came with that. Harry's fine, Louis deemed. Harry's completely fine without him.  
\- - -  
Louis didn't know why he was siting at his ex boyfriends concert. 

This was the stupidest decision he's ever made, and he filmed a video of him and Zayn smoking an illegal substance. 

He was sat in one of those VIP clubs so he wouldn't have to worry about fans finding out he's there. All they would do is post pictures causing management to lose their shit. Plus, his life was over if Harry found out he was here. 

The lights went down as butterflies went up in Louis' stomach. He didn't think he was emotionally ready for this yet. Maybe he could do this in ten years when he's moved on with another man. 

Louis was fine for the first song. 

But then he heard Harry's voice for the first time in months. It was just a simple, "Hello London, I'm Harry Styles" but it made Louis bite his lip to keep he sobs inside. 

He was such a baby, but he's missed Harry more than words can explain and Harry's voice was one of Louis' favorite things. 

"Thank you all for coming tonight, I really appreciate every single one of you. My family and friends are here tonight so I'm extra nervous." Harry joked, and Louis found himself letting out a wet laugh. "My only rule is for everyone here to have fun and I want everyone to be whatever you want to be in here. You are free to be who you want to be in this room." 

Louis' eyes are sweating. 

It seemed like the world stopped as Harry announced 'Two Ghosts'. Louis was so drawn in by Harry's voice and the sincerity behind every lyric, he felt like some magnetic force pulled him in and all he could focus on was Harry singing a song only Louis could relate to. 

Only Louis could relate to all the pain they went trough-and how they spent countless nights holding each other like their lives depended on it. 

Louis was brought back to the time him and Harry broke up in 2013 because the pressures of everything. They loved each other so deeply, and Louis thought it would benefit Harry if he just ended the relationship and told modest they were over and there was no need to hide anything anymore.

But then one night the boys were staying in a hotel with paper thin walls, and Louis could hear Harry's sobs. 

It's sounds cheesy and stupid, but at that point Louis realized it was killing both of them to be apart from each other. It wasn't helping Harry, it was crushing him and tearing him apart. 

It was like nothing else mattered at that point. Like everything around him was just a blur of light and Harry was the only thing that wasn't a blur. 

And hearing him sing those lyrics, when they've been officially broken up for two months and three weeks now, is heart wrenching. It's like someone's stabbing him in the heart and twisting then twisting the knife. 

A key unlocked whatever lock was on the floodgates and Louis was sobbing hysterically. He wouldn't be surprised if security came to escort him out. 

Then Harry made his way to the B stage and Louis swore his heart thumped write out of his chest and landed on his feet. 

He was so nervous, and he had no idea why.

He's heard these songs a million times before. He's been at Harry's rehearsals and sound-checks, he's heard Harry casually sing it while strumming the guitar around their house, he's heard Harry sing these songs in the shower, and he's heard Harry sing these songs in his ear when Louis can't sleep. 

"So uh..." Harry played around with the cords on the stage, seemingly trying to fiddle with something to reduce his nerves. Maybe Louis was just crazy for thinking this way. "These songs are really important to me tonight. Please sing along if you know the words. Feel free to wave your flags or turn your phone flashlights on." 

When the cords started playing Louis was hit, once again, but a flashback of when he heard the song for the first time. 

He had been out and about with one of his beards, he had too many he can't even remember which one, and he came home to Harry making dinner. 

Before he even got in the kitchen Harry called out, "Hey, Love! I want to show you something." 

"Don't tell me you shaved your head and you're bald now." 

Harry chuckled as Louis stepped into the kitchen and sighed in relief, seeing Harry still had a full head of hair. 

"I would've divorced you if you were bald." 

"We're not even married." 

"That just sounds more dramatic than 'I would've broken up with you'."

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis, tapping the spatula he was holding on louis' bum. "Sit."

Once Harry served dinner he turned on a radio that had made its home by the dinning room table. 

"I wrote a song." The curly haired lad said nervously, hitting the play button. 

And if the food was forgotten and Harry was a moaning mess in bed, no one had to know. 

All these flashbacks were making Louis want to jump out of this glass VIP box, run down to the stage and capture Harry in his arms and never let him go. 

If I could fly seemed to have struck both Harry and Louis in the heart. 

Louis noticed before his solo, Harry's voice started breaking and he had the crowd finish the rest of the verse. And by the end of the song, both Harry and Louis were crying. 

By the end of the concert Louis felt like every single bone in his body was crushed and he was just a limp and weak human being. Sobs still racked his body and he felt like he couldn't calm down. 

The arena was like a pond of water, it was crowded with people and than all the people drained out, almost like a pond of water being drained. 

He felt a light tap on his shoulder and he looked up to see a security guard standing above him. 

"You okay?" He asked, genuine concern laced on every word. 

Louis would be asking himself the same question if he could see himself. His eyes and nose were probably red, his shirt was drenched with his tears and there were still some streaming down his face. 

"A-Are you Louis Tomlinson?" 

Louis nodded a bit, "Don't tell anyone I'm here, please." 

"Do you want me to go get Harry?"

"No!" Louis practically shouted. "We're no longer together." He whispered quietly.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea." 

Louis shrugged, "it's fine." 

The blue eyed boy bit his lip before asking the next question, "h-how is he? Is he okay?"

"I'm only part of his security team, I don't know him very well. But he gets angry really easily and doesn't really talk to anyone." The guard explained, taking a seat next to Louis. 

"Does he..." Louis hesitated. "Does he ever talk about me?" 

"Yeah, a lot. That's how I knew you probably needed Harry when I saw you..." he trailed off, hinting to Louis' crying. 

"Yeah" Louis said through a wet laugh, understanding at what he was hinting at. "I'm a pussy, I'm sorry." 

"You lost the love of your life, cry as much as you need." 

The blue eyed boy gave him a small smile, before deciding to dig a little deeper. "What does he say?" 

"Well this morning Harry joined the crew for lunch and they brought out brownies. He told his mum to 'grab one for Louis'. And then he caught himself and said, 'never mind'"

"yeah, he used to always bring Home food I liked" Louis explained, smiling a bit from the memory. 

"He also does little things, like he makes two teas in the morning instead of one. And he falls asleep with one of your old hoodies he stole from you and sprays if with some cologne everyday."

Louis chewed on his lip, "I miss him." He whimpered, burying his face in his hands. 

"You two have been through a lot." He started. "You Guys have probably been through hell and back and you can't give up that easily. You went trough all that pain for what, you guys to break up in a few years?"

"He's with his family and I don't want to ruin that for him. I know he doesn't spend much time with his family and I can't ruin his big night." Louis explained, wiping the end of his tears with the back of his hand.

"He'd be happy to see you."

"We have a lot to work out and talk about." Louis explained. "He's not just going to run into my arms and everything will fall into place."

"I don't think he's with his family. He's been isolated from everyone, even his sister. Do you want me to call him?" 

"No no no no." Louis pleaded. "Absolutely not." 

"When are you going to talk to him then?"

Louis shrugged in response and then the security guard stood up, "please be out of here before midnight or you'll be locked in."

Louis nodded, although he paid no attention to what the guard was saying. Regardless he thanked him for his words before trying to collect the strength to get up and drive home.  
\- - -  
Louis didn't know where the fuck he was. He was trying to find the exit but, apparently, the arena doubles as a maze, for its nearly impossible for him to navigate through. 

He found his way to an empty seat and decided to look up a map of this place to find his way out. 

The map ended up being a bust.

It really shouldn't be that hard, to find the exit door, and Louis was wondering if he had gone blind in the process of getting his heartbroken. 

Successfully, he made it to the outer part of the arena where all the food was sold. He was looking around the place when he ran into a random rack of clothes that some dumbass decided to put in his way. 

He knocked the rack over, letting out more than a few profanity's and groans of pain. 

"Lou?"

Louis froze, stupidly and obviously throwing a random shirt over his face. 

"Lou, I know it's you." Harry said through a small chuckle. 

The older lad sat up, tossing the T-shirt to the side. "Uh, Sorry. I was....where's the exit?" 

"Why are you here?"

"I uh..." Louis gulped. "W-won tickets" 

Harry raised his eyebrows, "You won tickets? And how'd you do that?" 

"O-oh um, Won this game at this fair and they were giving out tickets." Louis stuttered more than said. 

"You're like a little kid who stole candy, and when you ask them if they stole the candy they say 'no' with their mouth full of candy." 

Louis stood up, but he felt so little as he asked Harry the next question. "Can we talk?" 

Harry nodded, waking over to a staircase where him and Louis sat down. 

"I'm still in love with you" Harry blurted out after a few minutes of silence. "I'm still crazily stupidly in love with you."

"But you left me."

"I know and, god, I was so stupid and I hate myself so much for that." 

The two sat in silence before Louis' voice filled the air, "Why didn't you reach out to me? Like call me?"

"I was....I thought you'd hate me and get mad at me. And plus I thought that giving you and I a little space would be-"

"But that's what I said before we broke up." Louis argued. 

"I know, I know. It's just different, because we knew we were still together and we were going to see each other again. With a breakup you think you won't see that person again and that makes you miss them even more."

The older lad nodded in understanding, wanting nothing more but to kiss the younger lad. 

"Kiss me" be barley whispered. 

Harry didn't waste a second, he twisted his body so he could have access to Louis' lips. 

When their lips touched it felt like their first kiss again. There were fireworks and tingles and butterflies and sparks and an undeniable electricity that ran through them.

As much as Louis wanted to keep kissing Harry, they were broken up and Louis was slowly stitching his broken heart back together. 

So, Louis pulled back and stood up. "I should probably go." 

The younger lad mirrored his actions, "Yeah, yeah right." 

The two stood beneath a blanket of awkward silence for a bit, not knowing what to say next.

"Did you say you needed help finding the exit."

"Yeah, I swear to god this place is a fucking maze."

Harry chuckled, walking a bit before motioning for Louis to follow suite.

Once they reached the doors, they wouldn't open. They were locked in. 

"Well this is just dainty." Harry said through a sarcastic laugh. 

Louis pressed Harry up against the door, breathing heavily as their mouths came in contact once more. 

"Fuck you. Fuck you for leaving me. Fuck you for breaking up with me. Fuck you for making me not get out of bed. Fuck you for making me sob like a fucking baby everyday. Fuck you Harry styles, fuck you." 

But Louis pressed his lips to Harry's right after. And, god, Louis missed the way Harry tasted. The way he tasted like the mint gum he always chews and the kale smoothies he always drinks. 

Harry missed louis' flavor, the taste of cigarettes and coffee prominent. 

They missed this. They missed everything about each other. 

As things started to escalate Louis stuck his fork into it. 

"We should talk first. Get this all figured out before...you know we..." 

Harry scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "yeah."

Walking with a cloud of uncomfortable silence, the two made their way into the stadium-plopping down on seats next to each other. 

"Why didn't you reach out to me?" Harry asked suddenly, reversing the question back on Louis. 

"You were just...harry you seemed to happy. Better off without me. You were the one that broke up with me so I assumed you didn't want me, like I was trash that was left behind by a garbage truck." Harry bit his lip. "You were on stage, dancing around and laughing and smiling. Meanwhile I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't find the strength to take a shower. I literally couldn't do anything. And, if you missed me, I thought you would be the same way." 

"You didn't see me backstage, though." The younger lad pointed out. "How I thought of you after everything I did. How I made your tea in the morning or how I would order extra food. The food that you liked, so it would feel like you were there. You missed how I started chewing peppermint gum and drinking coffee and tea the way you do because it tastes like your lips. You miss me acting cold to everyone because you weren't in my life. There was no point in being nice to people if the world decided to punish me and take you away. You missed how crushed my family was about the news. They love you, a lot. You missed the heartbroken love songs I wrote and then threw away because they weren't perfect and you deserve perfect. You missed the way I would workout in the gym. The way I would punch the punching bag like it was my face-gosh I'm so mad I broke up with you. I thought I was better, I convinced myself I was but I'm not. I need you."

Louis was crying. Whoever the fuck opened his floodgates needs to lock them back up.

Harry was crying, too. 

Louis let out a watery chuckle, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. "We're idiots. Both stupid fucking idiots."

Harry agreed, "never fucking let me leave again." 

Louis nodded his head. 

Sure the two had a lot to work out, and it would be a long journey until they were back to where they were. But, Love isn’t easy, you just have to find the person worth fighting for. And for Louis and Harry, that person was each other.


End file.
